That's Some Tree You've Got there Clark...

I've seen Christmas Vacation a million times. 999,999 of those times I've laughed and though, "funny, but who would really let that happen.". This year I know. This year, Christmas was at my house.

Let's start with the tree. Last year we cut a beautiful fresh tree. It was wonderful. The tree was perfect. I planned a repeat this year. Not so much. After a full on domestic about a work trip on a holiday weekend and a huge snow storm the week prior, we set out for a canyon in Idaho. We got out of the car and Spike refused to move. He stayed in the truck with Grandma and Grandpa the whole time. (Side note, Bryce stated, that he would be staying in the truck, he had cut trees for years and it was a "pain in the ass." If we wanted to do it, "have at it". )

So the place was a mad house. A billion people, no exageration, were trying to cut trees. We hiked in on a snowmobile trail about a mile and found the trees. We passed a young family like ours, coming out and the mom was nearly in tears and the dad looked like he wanted to kill himself. I asked how much further the trees were and he said, "to hell and back". Okay, so obviously, that guy is having a bad day. Not us, we're having a hap, hap, happy time!

Trees were in sight, we went for them, and Jeff instantly fell into snow past his butt. Hilarious, until I did the same thing. We looked around for a bit and Carter and Jeff located, the tree..da da da da! I thought it looked a little big and suggested we keep looking. Jeff was kind of over it, (I don't think the prior domestic had helped) and Carter was focused on eating snow. I suggested other trees, but we settled with the tree, despite it's size. I was worried, but really, the time for fighting was over and the time for fun had begun.

Jeff started to saw. Jeff has what we call, "superhuman Remund strength" and I've never seen him not push through something. He had to take 2 breaks to "breathe" during the sawing. Too late we were committed. The tree finally fell and it looked even bigger. We tried to move it. No luck. Between the weight and the depth of the snow, we couldn't make it budge. We cut off another 4 feet.

Just then Mike and Ash came up with their tree. It could easily be pulled with one hand. Neither was sweating. Mike offered to help Jeff move our tree. They both pushed and pulled. I think there might have been swearing. It moved! Then I noticed Mike kept moving and Jeff just stood. He claimed that, "his body gave up". Once we got to the snowmobile trail it got easier. Jeff really did help the whole way. I walked with Carter and did nothing to contribute. Bryce rolled his eyes and we were on our way.

Eventually headed for home. I decided it was huge, but that we could deal. Then while I was at the dirty Mav in Evanston getting a drink, I heard some local dude and the worker talking smack about our tree. Something about "city folk" getting trees that were too big. When I went up to pay he asked me if I had the biggest tree in the forest. I could feel my local/country girl heart break. I was city folk.

So the tree got in and decorated (thanks bob, for the big A ladder). We bought $80 of lights to cover the stupid thing. It filled the whole living room. I yelled at kids not to touch it for fear of disaster for over a month.

Despite everything, it was beautiful, it sparked and glowed for all (like the whole neighborhood) and the kids loved it. It didn't fall. Carter told everyone about how we picked the most beautiful tree in the forest and had so much fun. It smelled good and I'm sure we'll always remember the behemoth tree of 2010. If we start to forget, there seems to be an endless supply of pine needles in the carpet.

PS. The minute Christmas was over I threw that puppy out and boy, did it feel good.